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Thursday, November 29, 2007

Hi, I am Bryant Gumbel. Please Shoot Me. Yes Me. And Then Him!

UPDATE: People are e-mailing me more Gumbel blunders from last night. Check below for the new ones!!! This is insane!

For nearly four hours I was subjected to some of the worst play-by-play football announcing ever in the history of the NFL. And all on a network that cable companies and the NFL make half the country pay for because it's "that good."

I am speaking about Bryant Gumbel. Folks, how does this guy have a job in the NFL? What the hell are they thinking?

Let's review some of the Gumbel Fumble Follies:

Kevin Burnett is on the bench, with a possible hurt shoulder.

1. Gumbel : Oh it looks like Akin Ayo... wait that's Bradie James.. is hurt.
Collinsworth : That's Kevin Burnett.

2. Gumbel says Green Bay and Dallas have won 17 NFL championships. Does he mean NFC? Yep. Does he know what the NFC is? Nope. Who the hell writes his script? Dawg has pointed out that I am wrong here. SHows my ignorance but I didn't think the Packers won 12 NFL championships. I will review this alleged error later.

3. Gumbel says "Rick Romo" will be interviewed after the game. Yes, he said Rick. Then, earlier, he calls him Antonio Romo.

4. Gumbel called Nick Folk, Nick Arizona. Yes, Folk graduated from the University of Arizona, but can this guy read a damn piece of paper? Come the hell on!!!

5. At the beginning of the second half, Gumbel announces it as the second period. This ain't hockey douchebag!

6. "Marion Barber is the heartbeat of the Green Bay offense."

7. "Here comes the Green Bay Packers" Gumbel said as the Cowboys came out of the tunnel.

Finally, what the hell is that turkey gizzard hanging from his damn neck. Get some damn plastic surgery, Mr. Moneybags. Man, I know you've lost a lot of weight, but get that shit tucked in. And find a new job. You are HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!


kickholder said...

Another one from the very beginning of the game:

"The Green Bay Packers and Dallas Cowler...boys have had their share of winning times."

I'll take Rick Romo, the Dallas Cowlerboys, and their 11-1 record any day. Along with the radio broadcast.

dawg said...

I agree with you about Gumbel, BUT, you're wrong about the 17 NFL Championships. Certainly the Cowboys + Packers haven't won 17 NFC championships, as that would imply the two teams have combined to be in the super bowl 17 times (since the NFC was formed).

He's right - The teams have combined to win 17 NFL Championships. Cowboys 5 + Packers 12.

Not David Derush said...

I apologize. I guess the theme here is everyone makes mistakes. But Gumbel is an idiot