The Byner Saga Continues

All I can say is WOW. The Loudoun County Sheriff's Office, which has several unsolved murders, is really putting a huge amount of effort into solving this ridiculous crime at Earnest Byner's house in Ashburn. A replica (yeah, I said replica) Super Bowl ring, some toys and some luxury jewelry were stolen from his house after he let a 15-year-old punk watch his house while he was gone.

Here's the latest bizarre press release from the cops:

Loudoun Sheriff’s Investigators announced Tuesday that a 15-year-old who was house sitting for former Washington Redskins running back Earnest Byner was not involved in the theft of his property. A 17-year-old and 18-year-old remain under investigation and charges are forthcoming. The Sheriff’s Office learned Friday that Mr. Byner had several items stolen from his Ashburn home while he was on vacation during the first week of July. Among the items stolen was a pendant that was an exact replica of his 1992 Super Bowl ring. During this time another juvenile male and an adult male entered the home and removed property from the house. Since the discovery of the larceny some of the property has been returned to Mr. Byner. Other missing items include several collectible figurines, a pair of diamond earrings, a Rolex watch, a gold ring with a cross and a tennis bracelet. Anyone with information about the whereabouts of these items is encouraged to call Investigator D. Orr of the Loudoun County Sheriff’s Office Criminal Investigations Division at 703-777-0475. If the caller wishes to remain anonymous they are asked to call Loudoun County Crime Solvers at 703-777-1919.

Did they really need to issue a press release stating the 15 year old punk is not a suspect? This is the most absurd crap I have ever witnessed from a sheriff's office that has more than 200,000 people. Who the heck is running the show over there?

It's this guy! Meet Sheriff Stephen O. Simpson:

This is the guy making sure these press releases are sent out to the press, despite the fact there's an unsolved murder of a 14-year-old girl in his jurisdiction. Instead of focusing manpower on such a heinous crime as this, his "finest" are spending hours a day trying to help Earnest Deadskin Byner find his stupid replica Super Bowl ring stolen by two teenagers because Byner was dumb enough to let a 15 year old punk watch his house.

I cannot wait for the next press release, to let us know that Byner's dog is not a suspect and his gold earrings were returned unharmed.